If someone has read Revolution 2020, Chetan Bhagat has very beautifully and accurately described the Agony of mediocre Rankers. The drop years are definitely not very easy ones.
Though in my story of drop, there never were such moments when I felt tempted to the comforts. Once in a while the luxury of cozy bed was definitely welcome but most of the times I was determined. I was clear in my head that I might not be a brilliant student with a very sharp intellect but still I was hard working. Hard work had always been my strength and so I had to study as hard as I could.
Getting up at 6 in the morning and attending hectic classes had become a routine and I had got quite accustomed to it. Coming back by lunchtime, I used to have an hour’s rest. After that the daily dose of learning lessons, revising class notes and solving questions would start. It would go on mostly with short 5 min breaks in between. It would continue upto tea time. Tea time was a welcome break. After some refreshment, again the same schedule would repeat, of practicing questions, of going through notes till dinner time would come.
Life was set in such monotonous and busy routine. Day after day, the D-day would approach near. And with that the anxiety would also double.
Time just flies. Soon the D-day had finally arrived.
Whatever effort you might have put in the entire year, nobody would see your effort. It is only what you do in those 3 hours duration, would carry weight. Nobody would talk about your efforts but they would definitely talk about your results.
As I came out of the hall, I knew I had messed up. The test had not gone well. And there was no point in citing any excuses also. It had been bad and the story ended here itself. I could not entertain any what’s and why’s.
I was into tears when I came out of the hall. Sitting in the bus to head back to the hostel, I was all teary eyed. It was a feeling of my whole world just collapsing. I could not think through anything. I could not call home and could not even return their calls.
My friends told me to go home for a change. The next day, I boarded the very first bus to home.
When I reached home, my parents did not once ask me anything about the test. They expressed concern over my health. I was served food specially made for me. And even when I started to talk about the test, they just silenced me and told me that such things also happen sometimes. They said some wise things and told me to take it easy. I can’t express how much relieved I felt. The day before I was struggling to find some meaning in my existence, I was cursing myself. But being at home changed my feelings entirely. Whoever and whatever I was, I was still important for my family. I didn’t talk much, but it was the feeling of being together that gave me strength to move on.
The next few days I spent at home doing nothing, no books to study and no test to think about. I just watched TV, sat in leisure, ate a lot. I just stayed, stayed together with my family.
It’s the power of togetherness, the power of family that re-instilled my faith in myself.
It is this unique and special power of togetherness of the family that I always look upto.
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