Friday, February 26, 2016

Share the Load!

So, the other day I heard some guy proudly telling everyone that his mother just loves to wash the clothes.

I just silently thought to myself is it really out of love of washing clothes that a lady does the laundry or is it rather out of love for their family?

Another opinion I heard coming from another guy who thinks that girls should get up early in the morning

He was adamant about his opinion about girls getting up early but never mentioned that the same should apply to guys also.

In fact quoting some random guys is not even necessary, when I have heard it in my own home, that girls should know how to do the household chores. And when I look back, I remember that I too assumed in my childhood that cooking, washing clothes, cleaning and mopping; everything is mother’s job. Although, my father is way too helpful and he never shies away from lending a helping hand. In fact, a semi-automatic washing machine became an integral part of our life since the very beginning. And after that it did not matter much who out of my mother or father is putting the clothes into machine.  

But, here I am talking about this particular mindset which has been going on for decades. Consciously or unconsciously; we as children, pick up these opinions surrounding us, which tell us that girls ought to learn the household chores. Because even if they have a career and earn as much as their partner, they would still have to do these things.

Women have some kind of quality in them; they are the nurturers, they can’t stop caring about their loved ones; they make sure that their beloveds are properly fed, nicely dressed, looking tidy and presentable, so on and so forth. It is kind of natural in most of the women. But here are a few questions that trouble me:
1.  Does it mean that the men have got the right to take it for-granted that a woman’s nurturing instincts are their prerogative for labeling women as the brand ambassadors of the household chores?
2.   Does it mean that a woman has no choice but to give into the image of an ideal woman created at the society’s behest? Is she obligated to behave accordingly rather than making her own choices?
3. Does it mean that love of women should be confused as their subservient nature which becomes a hidden sanction for the male ego in a patriarchal society?
4.  Does it mean that the society/ parents/ relatives should try to regulate the behavior of their daughters if they find them deviating from the widely accepted social norms in which they have to play the role of a house-maker, despite their unwillingness to do so?
5.  Does it mean that despite the world changing in every sphere, we should not disturb the status-quo when it comes to roles of a woman in family life?

The opinions that I just quoted in the beginning of my post are the things that perturb me. Though the world is changing and there are many couples who happily share the responsibilities of household chores to some extent (like my father does too), but a major chunk is still for the women. And what disturbs me more is that the men feel entitled to all the things that women do for them. And why men? It’s the opinion of society as a whole. This is an accepted norm.

I wonder about the fate of women who do not really enjoy doing all these things. I don’t have to give someone else’s example here. I can tell you about myself. I am not the kind of girl who loves to cook or likes to do the laundry. I would rather prefer reading than spending a whole day at doing the dishes or mopping the floor. Nonetheless, I know when I care for someone; I would automatically do the things that I am not really fond of doing. But I cannot tolerate the idea of someone taking it in the wrong way. I mean, Men of all the people should know, that when a woman does things for him, it is because of her affection and her caring nature, AND NOT BECAUSE HE IS ENTITLED TO GET THESE THINGS DONE. And no way, a man, a woman or a society should teach their kids that the role of a house-maker is that of a woman alone. We should rather teach them the value of sharing and caring, as that is the very foundation of a strong and happy relationship. This is high time to redefine the established status-quo and end this prejudice.  

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

Saturday, February 20, 2016


Unmasked is an Anthology of 20 short stories. And it makes me so very happy that one of the short story is written by me as well. This is the very first time that I got published. For the girl, who has never been published in even a school or college magazine, this sure is a thing to be cherished.

About the Book:
I, Ruby, in this book appears to be a 25 year old woman with a mysterious past who lets 20 authors into her climax as they carve an intriguing end to the mystery. Was I the only inspiration behind them writing this story? Or was it you who occupied their heart while they bled words? Unmasked is what you shall see through the eyes of these 20 authors.

The book is now available for Pre-Order at Amazon. Please check out the link and buy if you please. I am looking forward to feedback; so that I can improve in future. So, please do share the reviews :) 

Friday, February 19, 2016

Second Spring - Book Review

In darkness, you will find many stars shining in the sky. You will feel one of them is yours and yours alone. Well, as soon as the sun comes out, all of the stars disappear. I am just that, one of those stars in the sky in your darkness. I am always with you, but when the sun comes out, I must hide. So, my love, I am always for you, but you must go for sunshine.

About the Author:

‘Sandhya Jane’ has a Master’s degree in Information Technology from the University of Central Missouri. She has been working for over two decades in global corporate environment. She lives in Hong-Kong with her husband and her son. ‘Second Spring’ is her debut novel.  

The Review:

It’s a simple tale of extra-ordinary love. Love is not something which will come of age, nor will it come of your control over it. You cannot pre-ordain destiny when it comes to love and its myriad ways. It will come silently and it will get on to your head before you can even acknowledge its presence.
The female protagonist, Avantika, is an independent, self-assured, shrewd and determined lady of fortitude. She is a proud single mother; who manages her role of a competent working professional, with as much ease and efficiency, as her role of a loving and caring single mother. Everything is just alright in her world till her encounter with Rohan. Rohan is a charming and handsome young man who happens to be reporting to Avantika as her boss. Their engagement starts off as a professional one; however, along the way, they develop a sort of bond. Avantika eventually starts treading down that lane of love which she had forbidden herself in all those years.

Rohan is initially intimidated by Avantika’s strong personality. But he also gets to see her different Avatars of a nurturing, caring, witty and an over-sensitive lady. Rohan is a sweet negotiator as Avantika used to call him. His charm and easy going manner is something totally complementary to Avantika’s control freak nature. When it comes to work, she grills just as everyone with Rohan being no exception. But, as Rohan starts knowing her better, he too develops a liking for her. Rohan belongs to a conservative family who would never approve of his relationship with a lady six years older than himself and already having a son.

Will Rohan be able to muster up courage and take a stand for their love? Will Rohan abandon Avantika? How would Avantika deal with loss of love? Will Rohan and Avantika’s path cross again? Will Avantika be able to forget her love? Would Rohan be able to live peacefully with the weight of his decisions? Will their destiny bring them together?

To get all the answers, one has to read the book.

The book also gives some insights on the spiritual side of love and karma. At certain points, it talks about the hindu beliefs on spirituality. The book opens the door to an understanding of love based on acceptance and forgiveness.

The language of the book is simple. The story and the detailing will keep you hooked. And once started, you might not be able to put it down until you finish it.

All in all, the book is a nice read. 

This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Meet the 'Devil Stereotype' $ 'its allies'

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Introducing “A Confused Modern Liberal Guy”

He’s wearing a cool T-shirt paired with a low waist jeans; quite an accent he has with fluent English. He was spotted in an up-town restaurant hanging around with some other cool dudes. Now, what’s wrong with checking out hot chics in sexy dresses? Ofcourse, that is natural for young people…

The same guy after several years down the lane…

He’s sitting in the same up-town restaurant. But this time, he is here to meet a girl. Yes! A prospective wife! What? He is not looking out for some hot chic wearing a micro mini. How can he? Tradition and family values are not something unheard of, right? No! No way does he mean that he is not concerned about looks. But hey! He just means that a girl wearing exposing outfits hardly has any regard for culture and values. 

The Hypocrisy, Huh!!!

Introducing “The Half intellectual Chauvinists often mistaken as chivalrous”

Here is a man dressed in a Raymond suit; he is educated, well-behaved, witty and smart. He even pulls the chair for the women sitting across him. The problem arises when he meets a woman wittier and smarter than himself. No! A woman as pretty as her could only be a bimbo. How dare she come up with ideas more intelligent than mine? The beautiful damsels are only meant to be the eye candies. How dare she speak over a man?

Oops the Ego! Slap, Slap..

Introducing “An Understanding Potential Partner, only till he is actually NOT”

Here is a guy meeting a prospective wife. A girl dressed in a simple salwar suit with a long pleated braid touching almost her lower back; a girl with such low key appearance should not be an ambitious one; or so he thinks.

“Yeah! I mean, I do understand. It is difficult to take care of the job as well as the family. Hats off to all the women, who manage everything so well!”
“Thanks. Good to know that you are so supportive. My job, actually, is in shifts. So, it would be great if we would share the responsibility of the daily chores.”
“Yes! Why not! But, you know, may be, you would not need to work. I have nice prospects of a fat salary hike and money would not be an issue. You would not need to work yourself up. Working in shifts is not really an ideal kind of thing for women. You understand, right?

Alas! The Illusion! Crack, crack…

Introducing “The Arrogant Na├»ve who are loudmouths”

Here are the men who think they have got every right to comment on the appearance of every lady, whosoever! They do not spare the Bollywood Divas nor do they stop passing comments on the passersby. Too fat, too thin, too dark, too plain, too tall, too short and the list may get longer. Only if they could see themselves in the mirror, before passing comments on every girl around.

Sigh! Brace the loudmouths!

These are just a few examples of the judgments that are passed on women based on their appearance. Take a look at some of the startling figures that the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals:

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.
b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.
c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.
d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

Time to break the stereotypes…

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

Friday, February 12, 2016

Old is Gold :)

The art has a great power to influence our souls. Be it any kind of art – Writing, Painting, Dance or Music.

The art has the power to reach our sub-conscious brain. It has the power to heel, to transform and to create.

Music is one form of art which is within the reach of almost everyone without exceptions.

For me, music is liberating. I don’t know how it is able to produce the effects, but I am aware that it has a tremendous impact. It is curious that different kind of music appeals to me at different times depending on the mood.

Slow and soft music is always welcome. But there are times when I feel down and at such times I like to dance on some modern bollywood numbers. Sufi music to me is a real bliss.

And in case of music “Old is real gold”. There is a kind of peace and content that I feel listening to the old classics.

The song “Hawa bhi hai jawan jawan” from the movie “Nikah” is my all time favorite.

Yet another favorite of mine is “Aj Jane Ki Zid Na Karo” by Asha Bhosle.

“Abhi nahin Ana Sajna” by “Sona Mohapatra” is also a treat to the ears.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

*Tring Tring"

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After five months of separation, it seemed, my husband had already been over the whole thing. I, however, was still trying to cope up. Time and again, my mind kept revisiting the past. I decided to burn the memories to get rid of the past. I opened the cupboard to destroy the memorabilia; I rather found a modern phone. It rang….Tring Tring…

I was skeptical but I picked up. A voice came from the other side. It was a familiar voice…

“Hey you! Put on some party music there!”
“Sorry! Why? I don’t want to.”
“You don’t want to, may be, but you need to!”
“I would rather sleep.”
“Sleeping won’t help.”
“What possibly can?”
“Get off your ass; Put on some bright make-up, make a few moves and dance like crazy.”
“I can’t move. My entire body seems frozen and so does my brain.”
“Dancing lets off some heat. You might de-freeze. Give a damn try!”
“It hurts. I can’t get over the pain. Will it ever get better?”
“Surely, if you would let it get better; if you give yourself a second chance.”
“Second chance for what ?”
“Second chance to live your life completely; second chance to stand up on your feet and walk with a head held high; second chance to be happy.”

I smiled; because, by this time, I had recognized the familiarity of that voice. My alter-ego was perhaps wiser than me.

I put on my earphones and danced like never before. Because I was free; because I could still be happy.

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