Saturday, June 18, 2016

Love??

IMAGE SOURCE: pininterest.com


The tale of forlorn love,
Lost before it could be found;

Eternal wait and moments,
Of hope and despair;

The search for the whole,
And the fiddling with parts and pieces;

The seeking of momentary comforts,
And the temporary solutions;

Deep down tryst with difficult realities,
And the layer of camouflage of indifference;

The void that appears and disappears,
Like the unexpected rains in a summer sky;

The laughter and the pain,
Fleeting like the fuming vapours;

Like a shower washes off certain layers,
Of you,
Leaving the parts bare;

Like the ripples unsettle the calmness of waters,
Only that you will never be same again.

.................Love?
.................What is it that people call love?







Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Coz its about my own growth, my own peace!

IMAGE SOURCE: favim.com


There are people who will try to pull you down; there are people who will unnecessarily try to insinuate you to get into arguments; there are people who will talk too highly of themselves while trying to show you your limitations all the time.

And I say, don’t get angry on such people. Don’t give validation to their ego at the expense of your own peace by getting into arguments with them or trying to justify your limitations. For the truth is that we are all limited in a way or the other. Take these people as challenges and love them for giving you a chance to grow and become more patient and accepting. Accept your flaws and your mistakes with dignity. For at the end of the day it does not matter that someone was trying to pull you down; because you chose what you want to have from the incidents and from the people. If at the end of it all you take a step towards your growth by accepting your faults to yourself and still do not be negative about such people, you have only stepped up one step higher.


So, leave their choices to them. You chose only your own growth and your own peace. Be capable of loving in every circumstance. 

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

* Word with myself *



Remember,
1>You are one in a million!
2>You are the best!
3>You have got a motive and you need to achieve it!
4>There are so many people who love you!
5>You have got so many things that make you a special child!!

Today I just spotted this old Card from one of my besties during college days. After a very bad mood swing, I was upset for no reason and slept off without talking to anyone. And in the morning I found a card on my table with a long letter written inside. The lines I shared above are a few from the letter. 

The ones who knew me closely perhaps did have inkling about my low self-esteem. I am a person who will always doubt herself; I usually don’t do fault finding in others but when it comes to my ownself, I seriously have some kind of trouble of putting myself down for the smallest of things.

Though, times have changed me, atleast, to some extent. Times have changed as well. My once upon a time close friend isn’t so close anymore. No, not that anything went wrong between her and me; it’s just a matter of time and distance sometimes. Coming back to myself, I surely do not have a very high self-esteem even now; but now, I guess, I don’t care much about being loved. May be, that there actually are people who love me; but now I have started believing that it really does not matter if there are plenty or handful or just a few or even none at all. I have found my own peaceful world surrounded by the love of God. Whatever happens; at the end of the day, I have God, that one source of comfort and bliss; and why should I need any other. I don’t make any efforts to make people stay in my life. If anyone wants to, they are welcome; else I am good by myself.

I don’t know if I am the best or even good for that matter. I don’t know if I am a special child or one in a million. I don’t even know if I have got any motive or not. All I know is that I am; I just am. It’s my being that is one truth which can’t be denied. I don’t know if I can change the person I am and I don’t even feel the need to do so. I might be weird, I might be a little socially awkward, I might be boring; but today I accept myself the way I am. I might be anything but evil and that suffices my expectations from me. I try my best to never wrong anyone. I might not be an interesting person but nevertheless I try to be good at heart.

I have messed up many times and sometimes, I still do; I have lost faith many times and sometimes, I still do; I have felt the pain very deeply and sometimes, I still do; I have gone wrong many times and sometimes, I still do; I have gone through the feeling of getting left behind, and sometimes, I still do; but isn’t that precisely what being human is all about.

To err is human!
Yes I have erred but I try to understand and improve. I am on my very own journey on this planet. The people may not understand my journey and I might not understand theirs. But nevertheless, all of us are headed somewhere or the other. Keep going and keep learning along the way is the only rule I would like to follow in my life.

Thanks for dropping by,
Much love to everyone who just read this piece of me and myself. <3



Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Book Review - PANORAMA


About the Book:

A turbulent relationship between a mother and daughter takes a sudden turn when the daughter takes a sudden turn when the daughter stumbles across a past that she never knew.
The golden period of a professor’s life is tainted by questions about his purpose until one night gives him all the answers he needs.
Desperate times test us all but when hunger drives a girl to do the unthinkable, her life changes forever.
Woven around the lives of the people around us- the shy girl on the metro, your domestic help, your neighbors and perhaps even you- this collection of short stories will take you on a bittersweet journey that explores the spectrum that is part of any human relationship and all the complexity and chaos that secretly dwells within the homes and heart of India.

My Review:

PANORAMA (A Collection of short stories) is an anthology of fifteen short stories by the Debut Author Shilpi Chaklanobis. Each story is unrelated to the other; and still each story has a common element of striking the chord with the reader.
The stories range from tales of the struggle of poor for the simplest joys of life to the tales of dilemmas of rich despite every material comfort. Some stories lend perspectives into the most mundane things happenings around us which we forget to take notice of; and some of them are based on the happenings which are not very common. Each character and each person in your vicinity may have a story to tell and PANORAMA is very much like a collection of these everyday stories.
“Wok” is my personal favorite among all the stories. Sometimes, even the fate can play satires on the poor. The story is s touching narrative with simplicity of expression.
At the end of the story, you just feel like counting your blessings and being grateful for everything you have.

About the Author:


Shilpi Chaklanobis hails from the beautiful city of Kanpur and has spent the majority of her adult life in Delhi. She currently heads the Digital Marketing division at an MNC. She has a knack for writing and she aims to translate her experiences and understanding of human relationships into stories that not only move people but also resonate with them. PANORAMA (A collection of short stories) is her first endeavor as a writer.

Buying Link PANORAMA

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The Author I love!

Image Source: happycamperproject.wordpress.com

Of all the authors I have ever read or I am ever going to read, this one man can’t ever be replaced by any. I am talking about Paulo Coelho here. More than the stories he narrates, it’s the way he sees the things that makes me love him. Whatever turn a story takes, whatever direction a character is led towards and whatever convolution the emotions got tangled in; the man never lets you end up without hope, faith and love.

These three words HOPE, FAITH and LOVE are a representation of the man PAULO COELHO. You may be anyone situated in any part across the world mired in any kind of struggle, mundane or an intricate one; when you read his books, you feel hopeful. There is a magic in his words which makes you believe that despite of your flaws and your shortcomings; you have a place in this world, you belong despite your eccentricities because you are human, you are capable of doing wonderful things and in fact everything you do is wonderful in a way because you are the very YOU no one else can be. You may fall but you will rise again; this is what I have learnt from his writings. You may fall out of love for a while, you may feel lost; but the faith in your heart will never let you get lost forever. You lose yourself to find yourself again. You may feel like giving up sometimes, you may feel weak and wasted, but the faith and love in your heart will take you further to the places where you will discover the beauty of your inner-self.

HOPE, FAITH and LOVE- the three things make PAULO Caelho my favorite author for now and for forever.

This post is written for #Indispire Edition 113 Which fiction author's book/novel you like most? Why?#MyFavouriteFictionWriter  


Image source: designbump.com

Monday, April 18, 2016

*A Tale of Two Hearts*


This story was written by me for Write India Campaign, Author Durjoy Datta's Contest. Read on and let me know the feedback in the comments section :)

Image Source- jwms1.wordpress.com


 ‘Do you take David as your husband, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?’

Rhea stood there wondering, how the dynamics of relationships can change so suddenly, taking completely unexpected turns. And how, the least significant of things, can sometimes lead us to the most significant decisions of our lives?

***

Rhea’s mother had tried to change her daughter’s decision in every way possible and she had failed.

'Are you sure, Rhea?' asks my mother. 'Of course I'm. Survival of the fittest, mother. I'm not going against Darwin. Also I don't want unnecessary scars on my body.' It's a known fact that we are all born to die. And frankly, I don't understand why it has to be made into such a big deal. If it were not for my mother I would have said that to the bunch of people outside my house, some of them with young kids, shouting slogans, waving placards, literally wanting me to cut one of my beating hearts out. "Save A Life. Donate!" they shout. For someone who is one in billions, 7.125 billion to be exact, I expect to be treated better. Scientists are still befuddled regarding my condition that gave me two hearts in my mother's womb. But years of research and sticking needles into me have led them nowhere, and they have labeled me as a freak mutation. It's so rare - literally one in all humankind - that they didn't even name the anomaly (as they call it, I will call it awesomeness). I wanted to name the condition myself, something on the lines of Rhea's Heartsawesome but the doctors aren't thrilled with the suggestion. Instead they want to cut one of them out and save a life. Huh? An IQ of 180, increased concentration, exceptional athleticism and a phenomenal metabolism rate - are just the few boring benefits of an increased blood circulation. Why would I ever give that up?

No sooner had Rhea finished her mental rhetoric than David entered the room…

When, my cynical mother, would stop being so impossible? She very well knows my inclination to this fanatic grey haired cardiologist. God save me from his assertive ways of pushing his opinions across the table. No! Damn him! I won’t budge in the slightest.

Your mother told me. So, you already made a decision? You know, it’s not your decision that troubles me, but the underlying reasons. How can someone with two hearts be so heartless? You refuse to save a life so that you don’t lose a few athletic races of your life? Of what use would be your IQ, if you don’t have an EQ? Successful people are balanced people, Rhea. If you choose to have no regard for emotions and feelings, you will only end up being a HEARTLESS robot.

Indeed, fervently he talks. But, No! This time he cannot play his word game. I have to hit him back. My words should pierce through him; so that, he dares not come back preaching to me.

Oh yes, Doc! But you talk on merely a superficial level. There is more to it! You know, I am the only one of my clan with two hearts. I belong to a superior human race! These lesser mortals want to destroy my whole race! They call me a wretched human being when they have lost their morality. How moral, after all, would it be to destroy a whole clan to save one odd life? Even the doctors have lost their mind; but I would not give up my
identity. I would see the future unfold with my two heart baby and its descendants.

Nor the grey haired figure, who was almost twice of age than Rhea, would give up so easily. He had a great understanding of human psychology. And with Rhea, he had a long association, since her birth itself.

What morality you talk about; when you don’t know the morality of having a pure heart free from evil and sin. You call the entire human race lesser mortals on what half informed basis? You, the proud owner of two hearts, is unaware of tapping the potential of even one of it. It’s not the pumping of blood alone that a heart is capable of doing. The heart is the centre of emotions and feelings. Of what use is it, if you refuse to have an iota of feelings in you? You talk out of sheer conceit and vanity.

Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

Says the Lord to Samuel in the holy Bible; revealing the importance of having a heart free of sins.
To cater to the emotions and feelings, is what a heart should be capable of doing. Develop your heart, it is repeatedly said. Develop compassion and love in your heart, for otherwise, it does not matter in the least if you have one or two of them.
Darn this curious feeling, this Doctor always incites in me. I hate his ways and yet, I know, I can’t stop paying heed to his goddamn ideas. What kind of discomfort he’s capable of pushing me into! Wait! Why don’t I hate him? Why, Am I, sort of, fond of him? Phew! If he does not leave, he will make me mad.
Your kind advice has been listened to with a great patience. Now, May I, with all due respect, ask you to leave?
Of course! Just one favor; if you can manage to oblige; just once, visit that lifeless woman lying on hospital bed counting her last breaths.

Rhea shook her head in exasperation and signaled the doctor to leave.

***

Being a winner at every single race is the sole motto of my life; until I become the only name in the field of athletics. The name Rhea would be a cult then. And that philanthropist doctor tells me to give away my own dream to save someone else’s. All his preaching loses its charm, when I hold this curious little piece of glass soaked in shiny metal; and contemplate the glory that would be reflected back, with more and more radiance, into my being; as I would keep walking closer to my dream, year after year. The world would watch Rhea walk up the aisle of fame and success.

A pair of eyes stared back at Rhea from the mirror. It was the reflection of her own face; but the eyes were of a ravenous vulture; dead cold eyes gazing at its prey on the other side of mirror, ready to take on it, any moment. Rhea looked in awe; her mouth was wide open with terror; even as she witnessed the changing texture of her skin, as it transformed into the slimy skin of a dreadful snake. The mirror dropped from her hand. She cried in horror, “David! Save me, please. Will you?”
The ghastly dream woke her up in the dead of the night. She switched on the bed-side lamp and walked across the room to grab the mirror. Her heart was thumping with a feeling of dread.

Thank God, I just look fine. What a terrifying dream it was! But why, On Earth, I called out for David of all the people? Why this strange feeling of fear taking over me? I feel a strange pull, as if someone is calling out to me. Why I can sense a gloom in the air? Should I call David? Not at this
hour. May be I am over-analyzing. I should rather go back to sleep. It was just a dream, after all.

The force of that pull penetrated a few kilometers in space.

David opened his eyes; he was trembling with a curious feeling which was a mix of fear, excitement, intrigue, anticipation and loneliness.
He was sitting by a lake; throwing stones into the water, every now and then, to watch the ripples forming. After sitting there for a few hours, he felt thirsty. So, he went near the water. His eyes met his reflection in the crystal clear water of the lake. He observed himself closely and a sudden shriek of pain came through his mouth. His face had become wrinkled and skin behind his eyes was puffed and hanging. He had lost his teeth. Nerves of his hands were bulging out. Suddenly, the crystal clear water turned into murky green. His mouth was becoming drier and he was dying of thirst. He was all alone; there was no-one to be seen in the reach of his eyes. Words escaped out of his mouth, soaked in misery, “Rhea! Save me! Please.”

There was an element of mystery, in the way, the two dreams, despite of their separate individual nature, intertwined into each other; As if one was needed to make the other whole. Both David and Rhea dispelled their unknown fears and pushed the dream into a distant corner of the brain, rendering it insignificant.

***

Though Rhea was determined at not changing her mind, yet, she decided to see the woman in need of her beloved heart.

I don’t know what came over me to visit this obnoxiously beautiful figure of flesh and bones. It appears as if her long slender fingers have already given up. They look withered and dry. Why, there is no other sound in the
room barring the annoying tick tock of the clock? The quiet in the room is agitating. Her golden hair remind me of the color of setting sun. I would hate to admit it; but I feel pity for this senseless figure covered in white sheets already. I wish I could help her live, but, to part with my heart, is too big a price to pay.

***
Success and more success, fame and more fame, May be such things alone are the key to happiness. I am not sure if happiness is the word. Well! May be the word is fulfillment. Why I am so unsure of my choice of words today? Is it the fulfillment of heart or the ego I talk about? Why, am I getting such strange thoughts? I did not even meet the bewitching Doctor today. Then, why am I thinking so unlike myself?

As Rhea struggled with her thoughts, the image of the golden haired petite figure, lying motionless on the hospital bed, kept reappearing in her mind. As she walked restlessly across the room, her eyes met the dressing table mirror. It was a déjà-vu moment which reminded her of her strange dream and unsettled her deeply. A thought just flashed across her mind.

Success and fame may give a person a sense of purpose in life; it can act as a driving force, but it can’t bring peace or a feeling of wholeness. It can’t fill the void.

***

Rhea’s mother was taken by surprise when Rhea told her about her changed mind. Rhea was herself quite unsure of her reason for doing so. It was hidden somewhere in the layers of her sub-conscious; a certain feeling of admiration or fondness, for David; or may be, for his ideas alone. 

I can hear my heart beating in the body of golden haired woman. Her withered fingers seem fuller now. Her long eyelashes curl outwards. I feel a strange surge of affection for her. Her heartbeats are in synch with mine. I have no clue about her origins; yet, I feel a curious connection.
David enters the room for check-up. I experience a mystical feeling of being able to read the mind of the lady; Sunanda, she is called. Suddenly, I don’t feel the curious fondness for David as had been the case in the past. But, I can feel the rhythm of my other heart, which now rests in Sunanda’s body, getting out of synch from mine. I can feel the nervousness building inside her; I can feel the subtle fondness for David in her heart; or rather mine, as it once used to be.
David tells me to go back to rest. I silently oblige, too stunned to experience the kind of feelings I am starting to have. Are there any side-effects of the surgery I was not told about?

***

I surf on the internet. I can’t find any kind of information on the side-effects from the surgery. And then I land up on a page. It talks about the research of a Doctor. I don’t understand much. It talks about the concept of heart-brain. The research has been rendered as unscientific, as it lacks the evidence of experiment.
It says that the cells of heart have a memory of their own; it is similar to the idea of soul resting in the heart. It talks about the heart as a store-house of the abstract knowledge and emotions of a person. It reminds me of the myths from the religious texts which David once had narrated to me.
I wonder if it could have happened that a part of my abstract emotions have been transferred along with my heart to Sunanda. Is this the reason I feel a kind of energy building between Sunanda and David? And how intriguing is it that I have felt the similar kind of energy between me and him, which has suddenly vanished after the surgery.

***

David’s first wife had divorced him after a year of their wedding. Since then, David had absorbed himself in work and social service. He hardly allowed himself any free time lest he should feel lonely. Rhea had been his patient or rather his subject of research for many years. David adored Rhea despite her eccentric and egotistical ways. He even felt responsible for her. But, after the surgery, David felt something had changed. He stopped trying to regulate Rhea’s way of life. He felt drawn to Sunanda. Sunanda was a woman in her early forties and a divorcee like himself. The chemistry between the two was building into a deep bond gradually. One fine day, when David was unwinding himself, sitting in a pool of water in the bath-tub, he suddenly remembered his dream.
By the next day, he had already decided to bid a goodbye to his solitary life and he proposed Sunanda to be his wife.
Rhea was the first person to whom David broke the news of his wedding. Sunanda requested Rhea to be the bridesmaid. Rhea kept laughing through the whole thing calling it all too melodramatic. Nevertheless, she was happy for the two.

***

The Duo said their wedding vows.

And Rhea wondered if it is actually destined that someday, at some point of time in eternity, we meet the split half of our soul.

She wondered if she too would have such an extra-ordinary love story someday!