Friday, June 17, 2011

Talking to self!

Have been here after a long time..
I don't have anything to write about today. Actually I am realizing that I never had anything to write about. Still I visit this place. Wondering why is it that I blog! I am not a writer which is very much obvious and writing is not something that I absolutely love, but still I have a kind of urge to write which supposedly is my way of expression to the things which normally go unexpressed in daily life. But if that is the case I could resort to a personal blog rather.Has it not become just a social networking site for me! Ofcourse it is my personal space and its a rare chance that I give a second thought to the things  I write here, but still I am always aware that my personal space is being read .So I have to say even if unconsciously, i do keep a restriction on myself to not say any random, crazy, out of the world stuff here. So is it that I want to place limit on my own thoughts that I particularly chose a blog. Or its just a simple reason that I want to be heard?After saying the above one thing m now feeling is a sort of satisfaction of having it said. So from dis feeling here i would like to conclude that writing helps me to get connected to my innerself , the self that i sometimes neglect and most of the other times  I actually am ignorant about this self. So writing is a medium for me to discover myself but here again I wonder am I trying to discover myself or rather i am confusing my mind about the concept of self? This question mark is not a very good indication! And still everytime I write I end up mostly with a question mark. This question mark i think is indicative of my desire to stay ignorant. It is indicative of my opting for a clouded sky when a perfectly bright sunny day is an option.Even this whole piece of writing that i am writing now, isn't it suggesting the same thing about me? And here comes a question mark again. I can not help these question marks or I don't want to. when this is a" talk to myself " as the title suggests why do I have the need to share it here? I want to get rid of these questions so I will now attend to all the question marks that have appeared above.
Connecting to self ...i think the concept is too simple in a way but gets complicated when i try to reach those aspects of my being that i haven't understood fully as yet only because i lack the faith in myself and my judgements.
The sharing of this writing inspite of the title.. this one is not really difficult i think. i shared it bcz i wanted some opinions on the matter. Precisely saying i  think its the need of acknowledgment and  an approval. So conclusion is again the same lack of faith in own judgements!
So what does this piece of writing suggests about me would again be same lack of faith in own judgement...

surprisingly enough the answer to all the question marks is a question mark itself- the question mark symbolizing  my missing faith in myself n my judgements , henceforth leaving a question mark  in my mind!!!

P.S:  If u went all through it  then i think may be I should say sorry to make u read dat!!
but ofcourse it was your own choice to read it till the end or leave in between!!
gud day to all !