Friday, June 25, 2010

Silent Contemplation

 Thoughts were snarling at the vulnerable mind
 and the only need of the moment was silence, utter silence…
 in a hope to go deep down to reach the buried layers of thoughts,
 strolling along the sea shore feeling those ripples of waves on her feet.
 The depth of her thoughts no less than the depth of the sea,
 And the unagitated wave suddenly turned violent
 With the gush of water, which wetted her eyes,
 memories rush into her mind..
And wat! it was not the water , it was the tear that was rolling down her eyes, just another fresh pearl in the sea of emotion..

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

a scrutiny of a mental trauma and more than that......

The hapless victim of the devilish act , the victim of an animal desire …
A victim of rape...
And the world around her changes forever ,
Leaves the feeling of being trapped in a whirl ,the whole world spinning around her ..
And with that whirl is taken her smile , her zeal of life , her ability to feel , her normal life , her everything...
Horrified,she wants to escape , she wants to run away , she wants to create a shell around her and never come out of it..
All she is left wid is a feeling of disgust , she lives this trauma each second of her life..
She is no less than a living corpse..
She wants to give up and then it is the thought of the life inside her ..
She hates it and yet she can’t hate it..
The spur of the moment tells her to kill it but she can’t take the breaths away from a life so brutally..
A feeling of disgust accompanied by creepy sensations and then the next moment a strange feeling of a life breathing through her..

As the life dat has survived in her womb comes to her hands the disgust falls short to stand in between the two..
She feels the motherhood and she finds a new reason to live. She finds a new energy in her. Her spirit could feel the chunks of rejuvenation.. She was regaining her life along with that new life . Now she would survive not only to be a mother of a girl , but for herself also , for justice , for fighting with those monsters who spoil the innocent lives

AND THEN .....
She struggled to all her strength , the legal proceedings were far too frustrating and more than that those people who saw her with scorn were frustrating. But she had no feeling for them other than the feeling of pity who could not stand by the side of a lone fighter for justice. But there were people who stood by her side as she took the bold initiative to take a stand. And justice came…
But her role did not stop here and she evolved as a social activist helping all the people suffering from the same plight. Her daughter had a common name for her mother and father. Her mother had played both the roles perfectly. She will always be proud of this great lady.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


I see those faces who toil hard the whole day long and a glass of water would be sufficient to suffice them and then I see the faces who have everything at their disposal and they crave for more and more..
I see those faces sleeping without a roof on their heads unaware of the world around dem and then I see those with the lavish beds and yet suffering from insomnia..
I see the glamour of the skinny models and then I turn around to see the eternal beauty of a not so glamorous mother’s face..
I see the fresh flowers with the dew drops shining with the first rays of sun and then I see the ones withering away with the dust storms..
I see a new life being born each day and then I see those funerals …
Celebrations and mournings…
Love and lust..
I see the most genuine faces of the world and then I see those sarcastic grimaces….
I see the visages with the plastic smiles and then I see the brilliance of those loud laughs springing directly from the heart…
I see those devastating fires, the dreadful draughts and then I see those flooded landscapes..
I see those innocent faces playing with the dolls spreading smiles all around and then I see those faces playing with the lives cultivating terror ..
I see those posh restaurants and I see those street food corners..
I see the those bright flashes of light and then I see those deep dark abysses..
I see the trust,faith and the hope dyeing each day and taking new life each day..
I see the sun rise and set each day..
I see the desires and the senses governing the people and I see the people governing their senses
I see the world flourishing and growing in all dimensions and then I see the world perishing with each day…….
This is what I call THE DIVERSITIES , the world of diversities …
I find life simple and yet complicated…

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Love @bove all religions.....

Drenched in the heavy rain pouring down from heaven itself , Bestowing its blessings on the two newly wed . The exhilarating breeze touching the faces and refreshing the soul from deep inside. ..

Trisha and iqbal had faced a hard time recently trying to convince their parents for marriage for Trisha was a hindu and Iqbal a muslim. Two years they had been waiting for this day .Sometimes their mind in a treacherous state suggested them to elope but they were prudent enough not to take such step because hearting their parents was the last thing on the earth that they would do. Two years of constant endeavour it had taken for their parents to agree . The time had tested all their patience and love for each other.

For them it was just an unforgettable day of life. All the colors were seeming more bright and brilliant today. The droplets of water on the leaves showing the reflection of seven colours of the spectrum , the sweet smell of the soil beneath , the air more fresh and clean with the water, the flowers blooming and waving as if were smiling on them ,and they were lost in the beauty and splendor of the moment. With their eyes closed they were dancing to the rhythm of the music played by the nature itself. Their feet flowing with the sounds of the wind and the thunder…..

Suddenly Trisha opened her eyes and to her surprise she was alone there . Where did iqbal go ? She got completely bewildered. She started looking all around madly. Her heart was palpitating hard and in a moment she was crying even louder than the thunder. She was now walking faster than the wind from the garden to the stairs downside in a hope to find him. She was just about to faint when she saw the glimpses of Iqbal who was being taken away from her by some people of his community . He was struggling hard to come back to her but the distance between was building up more and more and his stature was growing shorter with each step ahead. His image growing faint and he disappeared……………

Trisha comes into her senses and opens her eyes ….
What is the place where she is? She was lying in a bed and then she looks around. It was her own room Trisha and Iqbal’s room! And then a comforting hand comes and rests on her forehead . And Trisha realizes that it was the touch of Iqbal..he was with her. And then the series of events that had happened began to rewind in her mind and meanwhile she heard him saying,”Trisha! You scared me . I just went to get a flower for you and when I came back u were not there. I found you lying unconscious downstairs. What happened to you? I love u Trisha.” And Trisha realized that going away of Iqbal was just a dream. She hugged him and in her mind she decided to forget all the insecurities regarding their relationship due to religion. Their love only was sufficient to combat all the difficulties…..

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Blind !0ve!

A cute little girl who grew up into a charming damsel loved a guy since her young age .what can I say than to say she was in love truly madly deeply!.…the guy had been her neighbor since the two were kids. Initially he was one of his silly sweet childhood crushes but she never came to know how this silly thing changed into liking and over the time she found herself in love with him.
She had witnessed each moment of his growing up since his childhood , when he was so full of life and always full of talks kind of chap. While she herself was so shy and so reserved. Her shyness never let her talk to him. She just used to keep watching him from behind the walls. But then he grew up and he was never the same. He was completely taken over by loneliness and depression as both his parents died in a car accident. And he was not strong enough to face life. Drugs seemed to him the better option of living. She was yet just watching everything ,his lost zeal of life, his loneliness ,his insanity and yet she loved him and only him . And yet she was away from him when he needed a comforting shoulder more than anything in the world. She wanted to share his pain, his suffering but what was it that was restraining her , keeping her away from him. But when the situation got out of hands she had to have the courage and she took him to a rehab when finally he was on the verge of the worse addiction. She used to be with him day and night . It was more tough for her because for him she was just a stranger interfering in his life. But god was on her side and his situation improved. And soon he was out of the habit of drugs. They were happy and then finally it was her day when the guy proposed her for marriage. She was into tears…
THEN on the day of marriage…. she was looking no less than a princess in her white wedding gown. The ceremony started and the two were asked to take their wedding vows and suddenly the white colour of her gown changed to all red….the knife dropped off his hands and she was all into his arms….. ‘I LOVE U’ were her three last words as she was gone forever . He cried like anything in the world still not knowing why did he kill her??!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

WHO @M I ?!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone of us holds quite a lot of personalities, a lot of faces ,and that too skillfully we manage. Right expressions at the right place is a trademark of this interesting species of the world. That is one thing that we start learning right from the day we are born till the day we end up going from here. We experience the Life in different colours and the reflection of life is seen in our personalities also entirely composed of different colours .So I am talking about one of such multifaceted personality THAT’S me. I find myself holding so much wide kind of faces that sometimes I myself forget that who I am and I find myself in a situation as if dumbstruck over this one question. WHO am I ? the one question to which one lifetime can fall short for me to understand it!! As I start mulling over this question and I supposedly take a situation and predict my reactions about it. oh my god!!! Hell of possible reactions I can have to one single situation or may be I can have a single reaction to multiple situations. Where from I get this capability of handling all these faces! Sometimes I just feel like I am a mere actor playing her role as directed by the notions of this world. I wonder what would have I been if it had been the other way round only my own OWN ..expressions I had with me (again I m left wondering to think, for that may be I need to be had born in complete isolation from the world). And sometimes it’s a state of dead end as I keep on cogitating over the one thought .
Sometimes it feels like a compromise to live on the conditions of this world, these established norms of society. The world will call you mad if don’t smile when everybody else is…or you don’t have a tear in your eyes when everybody is crying at the top of their are heartless if you don’t weep over a tragic thing that is making everybody around sad…I feel like so perfectly we have been programmed to give those predefined reactions over everything and it gets worse when we knowingly fake it . Who can be a bigger hypocrite than us? Some suggest that ur answers are inside but as I see it how can the answer lie inside . Inside its just a means of calming down your seething brain which is amazed over the question ’ WHO I AM ? ‘ to attain a state of complacence and merging with eternity but how does complacence provides answers ?

why i would never have a boyfriend!!

Just after reading a blogpost on why I don’t have a boyfriend( it came to my mind to jot down my own reasons as to why I never had and would never have a boyfriend. So as I start pondering over the thing umm the reasons are quite a lot from physical to emotional to stupid to intellectual to silly to solid to fragile n so on… so firstly I think when god was creating me he was falling short of time so he blessed me with a short height not even 5 and irony is I would always fall for someone who is either too big for me or might be too aged for me( :-) most of the times I develop a crush on married people who already have a child :-)).And honestly when I talk to people about such issues lately I feel awkward about what the other people might be thinking about me like some of them might think “she’s such a kid for having a boyfriend” (my physique totally gives the impression of a kid :-) though at times looking like a kid has some kind of advantages too and on the other front its nice too be a kid at heart though :-) ),or it might be like “Na shakal hai na akal hai !what in the world is wrong with these kids!” however it has not happened with me anytime but I am sure it can happen. Suppose I go to a person I like gathering all the courage to talk to him and he says in return “hanji beta !bolo kya kam hai!” hell of embarrassment it can cause.So I would better stay away from such situations :-).And then I fear how can I stick to one person althrough the life . Does’nt it get boring with one person lifelong (now don’t say ask your parents) .Now I know there is a possibility of keeping on changing them,but then actually I am of the notion that “only one and one special someone is there for everyone”. So altogether I m confused .I believe in one special someone and still m afraid one can’t do. So to avoid confusion I better would stay away from one even and anyhow I find it better to stay a free bird! Now again I m confused how do people decide to get into a relationship. Does anything like love at first site? (that cant be the case with me at least).Now although such a thing has never happened to me because I am pretty sure that I don’t want a boyfriend but ok if I assume that I met someone and the person appealed to me and I get to meet him somehow , I am damn sure I am gonno create a mess overthere. One I am so… boring , and can be fussy at times or may be totally confused over wat to talk about,not only I will be conscious I will make the other person also and point again to be mentioned is in a perplexed state I can start behaving different than myself which I hate to do. So again I think boyfriend thing is too.. complex at least for me to handle .Another thing is that I am no open book and I have my personal space which I cant share with anyone . Since there is a notion that your boyfriend(if you are pretty serious and not just flirting coz I believe in only one and one serious relationship) should be knowing every little thing about you and your things.. but in my case it can never happen .so again I would say stay away from boyfriend thing is better for me. And I think I expect quite a high standard as according to me. I just want the perfect one even after knowing that perfect ones hardly exist! the one should be humorous (so that he can entertain me coz I am damn boring),intellectual and witty (because sometimes it might become necessary for him to shut my mouth by countering my philosophies),tolerant and loving (I can be too stubborn, frustrating and difficult to handle at times :-)),smart(although I m not that smart) and yet of the height matching mine(so in all m fantasizing ) but I would rather fantasize than to compromise. so again I think I would like to stay away from boyfriend thing .Not to forget mentioning actually the boyfriend term seems a bit stupid to me. Another thing if ever I have a crush on someone I can assure myself it would never be the one to turn out to a relationship because I have some kind of affinity for cynic people and sometimes my perceptions about people go entirely wrong . so again the conclusion is no boyfriend.
p.s : this was all about the silly ,stupid and perplexed reasons that I m not gonno have a boyfriend .the serious reasons do exist but I would keep them veiled.

Monday, June 7, 2010


Heaven n hell such notions were striking her mind , but she preffered to stay benighted over these concepts because she was anyways going to find it out in a few moments.It could be the end of illusions for her or may be a brand new starting to a fresh set of illusions….tears in the eyes and smile on the lips but she was niether sad nor happy.It was just the thought of complacence that she searched for the whole life but all efforts futile.Lacking in reason but yet sure of wat she is going to do. Faint voices were audible to her…. may be an accoustical illusion from far far away , calling her.Strong was that yearn to just breathe for the one last time ,breathe like she had never breathed before……spread her arms as far as she could and feel as much air as she could……eyes closed, standing on the edge .And in a moments minute she was free. Free forever..She could feel as if the whole lot of sparkling stars themselves came down to envelope her and all the shackles around her were wide open……to set her  free and to merge with the infinity.That was her end,end of life …….Suicide.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

for my FRIEND$..........

On the roads of life , many relations we get . some inhereted n some made on our own.
Some are so volatile to stay just for a while;
Some stay to make nice memories , but the time seems more powerful and memories ultimately fade away;
Yet some are the relations which are special ; weaven on the threads of trust ; nurtured with the care, love and understanding ; and grown into cobwebs of everlasting bonds …
And then time seems meager a parameter to be able to let these evaporate; time can only empower the trust and understanding grows with time…
Rare though these are the relations to be cherished for lifetime……..THEY ARE FRIENDS..’FOREVER FRIENDS’
This is for all my friends “many a times I might have hurt u with harshwords,with my blunt attitude  my carless prating ,but rightfully I do dat. Wherever u will b , but u will always stay close to ma hrt.u r precious to me.i love u all. God bless u.”

tic tick tick..........

Oblique angles