Share the Load!

So, the other day I heard some guy proudly telling everyone that his mother just loves to wash the clothes.

I just silently thought to myself is it really out of love of washing clothes that a lady does the laundry or is it rather out of love for their family?

Another opinion I heard coming from another guy who thinks that girls should get up early in the morning

He was adamant about his opinion about girls getting up early but never mentioned that the same should apply to guys also.

In fact quoting some random guys is not even necessary, when I have heard it in my own home, that girls should know how to do the household chores. And when I look back, I remember that I too assumed in my childhood that cooking, washing clothes, cleaning and mopping; everything is mother’s job. Although, my father is way too helpful and he never shies away from lending a helping hand. In fact, a semi-automatic washing machine became an integral part of our life since the very beginning. And after that it did not matter much who out of my mother or father is putting the clothes into machine.  

But, here I am talking about this particular mindset which has been going on for decades. Consciously or unconsciously; we as children, pick up these opinions surrounding us, which tell us that girls ought to learn the household chores. Because even if they have a career and earn as much as their partner, they would still have to do these things.

Women have some kind of quality in them; they are the nurturers, they can’t stop caring about their loved ones; they make sure that their beloveds are properly fed, nicely dressed, looking tidy and presentable, so on and so forth. It is kind of natural in most of the women. But here are a few questions that trouble me:

1.  Does it mean that the men have got the right to take it for-granted that a woman’s nurturing instincts are their prerogative for labeling women as the brand ambassadors of the household chores?

2.   Does it mean that a woman has no choice but to give into the image of an ideal woman created at the society’s behest? Is she obligated to behave accordingly rather than making her own choices?

3. Does it mean that love of women should be confused as their subservient nature which becomes a hidden sanction for the male ego in a patriarchal society?

4.  Does it mean that the society/ parents/ relatives should try to regulate the behavior of their daughters if they find them deviating from the widely accepted social norms in which they have to play the role of a house-maker, despite their unwillingness to do so?

5.  Does it mean that despite the world changing in every sphere, we should not disturb the status-quo when it comes to roles of a woman in family life?

The opinions that I just quoted in the beginning of my post are the things that perturb me. Though the world is changing and there are many couples who happily share the responsibilities of household chores to some extent (like my father does too), but a major chunk is still for the women. And what disturbs me more is that the men feel entitled to all the things that women do for them. And why men? It’s the opinion of society as a whole. This is an accepted norm.

I wonder about the fate of women who do not really enjoy doing all these things. I don’t have to give someone else’s example here. I can tell you about myself. I am not the kind of girl who loves to cook or likes to do the laundry. I would rather prefer reading than spending a whole day at doing the dishes or mopping the floor. Nonetheless, I know when I care for someone; I would automatically do the things that I am not really fond of doing. But I cannot tolerate the idea of someone taking it in the wrong way. I mean, Men of all the people should know, that when a woman does things for him, it is because of her affection and her caring nature, AND NOT BECAUSE HE IS ENTITLED TO GET THESE THINGS DONE. And no way, a man, a woman or a society should teach their kids that the role of a house-maker is that of a woman alone. We should rather teach them the value of sharing and caring, as that is the very foundation of a strong and happy relationship. This is high time to redefine the established status-quo and end this prejudice.  

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.”