Sunday, September 18, 2011

in luv with myself!

life is a bitch and so am i ;)
my blog has really become a depressing place. It gives an impression as if i am a depressed soul at least thats what people think. I am not a 24*7 depressed person man! Yeah i hold different views and i think a lot about small small things and only because i dont like to share my thoughts with everybody around i write them here. I love my blogger friends who always are there even if i write all the crap. But all of a sudden i have started feeling that i am loosing on my followers comments although that might just be my notion. And yes my about you posts they are evr increasing these days!! but thats not because m in love or i have ever been in love!! you know what i think movies and novels have spoiled my mind and i have a very high rather a very very very high expectation from love! i just can not tell u how much i wanna be in love :) but seriously i dont  think with such notions and high expectations about love i can ever find a person to fall in love with but still i am waiting! isn't love something that will just happen  when the person is right even if i have these false notions in my mind or am i creating a blockade in the way of love. But honestly speaking i don't think so!! Love should be spectacular as i had mentioned in one of my previous posts. So for a spectacular thing wait is always worth it. U know what when u buy a thing you know all the specifications what you want and not. Then Whats wrong in thinking all the specifications of a person whom you want for life!!!!!!! People thats just not being depressed... Thats being over obsessed about the person whom you want for life!! :) You might be thinking that whats wrong with me! But one of my friends told me that my blog suggests that i am depressed! But hell no!! i am moody, i get mood swings! i write crap , i write anything that comes to my mind and i write here because i dont like sharing my views with people who won't respect them. However stupid i may be i hate being told so! The loved ones and my precious friends can tell me so though ;) I hate rules, I hate conventions and yet i am caught in them and please don't ask me why!! And thats the onlt reason i write such posts where time and again i have mentioned about flying high or breaking the chains. At least if i cant do that in my real life I have all the rights to dream about flying. Does that suggest I am depressed. If my blog really suggests i am depressed please do let me know people. At least i would like to know honest opinions of people who read my blog. Only then i can improve after honest feedback from people who have always supported me and my stupid  and senseless and meaningless words!

these are some pics that reflect how my heart wants to stay always :

free, serene, busy with myself , walking on clouds, enjoy like a butterfly, oblivious of anything that goes around, free from negativity, fresh  as flowers, soothing like breeze n much more like dis :)
But i know am way away from being this kind of girl yet... WAY away!!! But whats wrong in dreaming! Dreams don't cost you anything and if those dreams keep us happy why creating boundaries like realist dreams and unrealistic dreams!!! to hell with such boundaries. There are enough boundaries in real life so dreams should just fly!! Thats why i never share my dreams with anybody because i am scared that people will give odd looks to me, they will tell me i dream impossible, i dream about things that i am incapable of achieving, thats why i keep certain things to myself only.Even my friends think that i am vulnerable! I don't say i am not  but inside i know i am strong. Inspite of all my weaknesses, mood swings, incapabilities, cribbing habit (My worst habit!! i get started and dont stop at all!!) I luv myself the way i am! because thats what makes me ME!

Have a great great sunday!!


  1. Keep up with the specifications. :P

    Regarding the falling readership, you have to read to be read (so they tell).
    And those who find it depressing may well, bug off?

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  2. Hey Baby !!

    Who the hell told you your blogs are depressing..they are a clear insight into things we tend to ignore..

    You are an observer..You are being gifted the power to look beyond things !

    And Don't let views of others change is important to look at ourselves the way others see us..but the best picture of you is the one you see yourself as...

    so..don't worry !! you'll fall in madly as i just need the right person to come...

    smile...biiiiiiiiiiiiiig wali smile..hugsssssssssssssssss

  3. 2 things - u must be watching romantic movies and reading mills and boons so u r obsessed with love.. start watching/reading something like horror/mystery/murder may be den u would be able to take your mind out of love.. but again there is an issue.. what if after watching murder mysteries you get obsessed with murder and want to kill someone !!!! ok that was a bad PJ....

    there was a time when even i was concerned abt the way I write and the way others interpret my blog.. dat time one of my fds asked me whether I write for others or for myself. I said I write for myself.. then he said that if I write for myself, I should not care abt how others would interpret my blog.. i hope you got the point..

  4. @ anshul: thankyou!!
    @nikita: gal i just luv u :)
    @laddu: thanx! u absolutely reminded me that i write for myself!!! n yeah was a bad PJ :) ;)

  5. Megharana,

    This is your space. Write what and how you wish to. If someone feels your posts show depressions, that is his or her perception. You know why you write here, so do not let anything make you change you style. It is good to have some expectations of the person you wish to spend life with but let that not come in the way and miss out on real love. Love does not come with BAND BAJJA but creeps into you silently. True love is accepting the person as he or she is and not trying to make him or her change. And it is only when you are living 24X7 that you come to know the person actually. In love phase everyone puts best foot forward. Live life as you wish to and just follow your own conscience.

    Take care