The reasons why I started praying to god are a little different from the ones I pray to god today.
As a child we know nothing. At that time we are told about the existence of god, made to learn prayers. In school the day starts with a morning prayer and in home the day ends with an evening arti or simply lighting of some incense sticks. The time I was a kid I used to watch some mythological serials as well like Sri Krishna, Mahabharata etc. And slowly it became a way of life to pray to god. At that time it never occurred to me to ask why. I was told and I accepted without wondering about why’s or how’s.
But over the time as I started reading more and more and went on experiencing life more closely, the questions did strike me something of the sorts:
“Why is it that I am praying? What if there is no god?”
“What if all my prayers are going futile and there is no one to listen?”
“What if I am wasting my precious time and energy in calling out for something that does not exist?”
“What if non-existence of god is as much real as the existence of humans?”
“What if god has completely different form than the one I assume and what if god does not understand my language?”
“What if by praying to god I am just looking out for a safe haven because the reality is I am not strong enough?”
Plethora of questions…But over the time I have come to believe that the answer is only one “FAITH”
Faith has a personal meaning for everyone. For me it’s the only comprehendible reason and the pathway between material and spiritual. “Knock and the doors shall be opened” ; without faith it just sounds like another biblical sermon but faith makes it almost come alive..
I don’t know what is the form, what is the type of existence God assumes. But yet I believe there is a supreme power, a force larger than life, a force as real as the laws of nature are.
Everything in this universe has order. Smallest of small things are governed by laws. Every event is organized, be it the rotation of the planets, changing of seasons, atoms, molecules, everything! The humans are just discovering that order, just harnessing the knowledge that already exists. If humans have got intelligence, the universe is much more smarter. Human intelligence springs from his mind. There must be a source of intelligence of universe too and I would like to believe that this source of intelligence of universe itself has the name god! How and why are just beyond my understanding, so I would just like to have faith.
Though I still don’t know how is it that one should pray to god! Whenever I am praying it’s not just the thought of god I have in my mind in fact there are two hundred other mundane thoughts racing in my head. But still I do pray.
Now the reasons I pray:
..This one is simple because I like the fragrance and aura of incense sticks. It gives me so much of peace and positive vibes.
..Another simple one is it’s a beautiful experience to light diyas and listen to some soothing chants, visiting temples or churches. It’s a celebration of silence for me.
..I consider god to be my best friend. In fact I don’t really pray, it’s more like talking to god. I talk about all my problems, Frustrations, all happy and sad moments. And it makes me feel lighter just as one feels after venting out everything to a best friend.
..Confessions.. I do all my confessions in front of god. My anger is little bad so sometimes I end up saying too much to people. While praying there is an automatic recollection of things that I should not have said. I am a little egoistic to admit my mistakes but with God I can admit anything under the sun. That gives me a chance to be completely honest with my own self atleast without any pretensions.
..Flattering.. When I pray I always wish for so many things, this and that, it’s like giving god your wishlist and wishing for a miracle to happen!
..A comfort..In the company of god I feel ultimate comfort for God is not judgmental like the real people and won’t walk out on me for my wrongs or mistakes, won’t put labels on me, I don’t have to weigh my words, don’t have to worry about being stupid.
..Hope.. to an extent it’s the fear of god which can also be termed as the inner voice which saves me from wrongful acts. When there is nothing working out, I always draw inspiration and confidence from prayers. The name of God is a source of endless hope.
..A luxury.. It’s no less than a luxury for me to be able to blame god when things are going wrong. To be able to argue and fight with god because you know God is not going to backfire. Ofcourse I do realize all the time that faults are all mine but it makes me feel lighter to put it on god!
..and in rare, very very rare moments I pray because in those déjàvu moments I feel overwhelmed with the existence of universe and how it houses everything so perfectly. In those moments the prayers are just a tribute to that power which is supreme and governor of the whole.
All in all I pray because it gives me comfort and helps me to connect to myself and my conscience. It keeps me hopeful and patient. God is my best friend, my best ally and my soul confidant.
Just on a lighter note sharing this one ..