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Let fear never drive you. It happens many a times that we are so used to being afraid and our sub-conscious without letting our conscious mind know starts affecting our choices. Fear is the greatest enemy one can have. It makes us believe we are not enough; we do not deserve any better. It’s the root of all negativity in our minds, all the toxins in our psyche. When it starts overpowering you, you’ll feel like settling, settling for the lesser, settling for the fear of not being able to fit in if you don’t.
“All my friends are getting married. What if I don’t? What if my age passes and I am left all alone in this world?”
“Oh! But I love this guy! But is he treating you right? Chances are that he may not be. But what if I don’t find any better?”
There is an age when everybody around you is either getting married, getting engaged, going on a honeymoon, having a family and there are talks of marriage all around you. The panic streak in you gets propelled by an underlying fear at some or the other point of time; and then, this underlying fear will give you many expedient and practical terms to justify this deep seated unrecognized fear. You may call it adjustment, being practical, sometimes you may even term it as love. It would throw several logics in front of you-“But! You can’t get everything!”, “It’s about making the best out of what is available.” “Compromises are a must in life.” “So what if he has limitations? I love him.” “He is well settled, what if he lacks some basic sense.” “He is not doing it intentionally. He is just a little messed up.” “It will get better with time, I can make it work.” And there will be umpteen no. of reasons that your fear will give you to just settle.
Not that I say believe in some surreal, far-fetched fairy tale prince coming your way. But, you better know when you just start crossing that fine line of being propelled by your fears and fears alone. You’re throwing away your confidence, your self esteem, your individuality and most of all, your life, your very own life, and all that for some petty thing as settling.
Making yourself smaller to get that approval of “Happily Settled” and from whom? The society who least cares? To appear taller in front of the society, if you give up the height of your self esteem, you do nothing but betray yourself.
There is not more than a handful of people in our lives who really care with what we do with our lives. Rest all just need some masala gossip for sipping their evening masala tea. And the people who care will always stand by you in all phases of your life, no matter what. So care about the few who matter.
A little bit of adjustment will always be required and we do that with our families, with our friends almost all the time. But don’t let your fear make you adjust more than what is necessary. Don’t give in if you fear losing yourself. You are the most important being you have got. Don’t let the fear play you and take you away from your very ownself. Don’t let the fear be the driver. Don’t let it pull the reins for you.
As it is rightly said, “Fear is death, fear is sin, fear is hell, fear is unrighteousness, fear is wrong life. All the negative thoughts and ideas that are in this world have proceeded from this evil spirit of fear.”