1>You are one in a million!
2>You are the best!
3>You have got a motive and you need to achieve it!
4>There are so many people who love you!
5>You have got so many things that make you a special child!!
Today I just spotted this old Card from one of my besties during college days. After a very bad mood swing, I was upset for no reason and slept off without talking to anyone. And in the morning I found a card on my table with a long letter written inside. The lines I shared above are a few from the letter.
The ones who knew me closely perhaps did have inkling about my low self-esteem. I am a person who will always doubt herself; I usually don’t do fault finding in others but when it comes to my ownself, I seriously have some kind of trouble of putting myself down for the smallest of things.
Though, times have changed me, atleast, to some extent. Times have changed as well. My once upon a time close friend isn’t so close anymore. No, not that anything went wrong between her and me; it’s just a matter of time and distance sometimes. Coming back to myself, I surely do not have a very high self-esteem even now; but now, I guess, I don’t care much about being loved. May be, that there actually are people who love me; but now I have started believing that it really does not matter if there are plenty or handful or just a few or even none at all. I have found my own peaceful world surrounded by the love of God. Whatever happens; at the end of the day, I have God, that one source of comfort and bliss; and why should I need any other. I don’t make any efforts to make people stay in my life. If anyone wants to, they are welcome; else I am good by myself.
I don’t know if I am the best or even good for that matter. I don’t know if I am a special child or one in a million. I don’t even know if I have got any motive or not. All I know is that I am; I just am. It’s my being that is one truth which can’t be denied. I don’t know if I can change the person I am and I don’t even feel the need to do so. I might be weird, I might be a little socially awkward, I might be boring; but today I accept myself the way I am. I might be anything but evil and that suffices my expectations from me. I try my best to never wrong anyone. I might not be an interesting person but nevertheless I try to be good at heart.
I have messed up many times and sometimes, I still do; I have lost faith many times and sometimes, I still do; I have felt the pain very deeply and sometimes, I still do; I have gone wrong many times and sometimes, I still do; I have gone through the feeling of getting left behind, and sometimes, I still do; but isn’t that precisely what being human is all about.
To err is human!
Yes I have erred but I try to understand and improve. I am on my very own journey on this planet. The people may not understand my journey and I might not understand theirs. But nevertheless, all of us are headed somewhere or the other. Keep going and keep learning along the way is the only rule I would like to follow in my life.
Thanks for dropping by,
Much love to everyone who just read this piece of me and myself. <3