WHO @M I ?!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone of us holds quite a lot of personalities, a lot of faces ,and that too skillfully we manage. Right expressions at the right place is a trademark of this interesting species of the world. That is one thing that we start learning right from the day we are born till the day we end up going from here. We experience the Life in different colours and the reflection of life is seen in our personalities also entirely composed of different colours .So I am talking about one of such multifaceted personality THAT’S me. I find myself holding so much wide kind of faces that sometimes I myself forget that who I am and I find myself in a situation as if dumbstruck over this one question. WHO am I ? the one question to which one lifetime can fall short for me to understand it!! As I start mulling over this question and I supposedly take a situation and predict my reactions about it. oh my god!!! Hell of possible reactions I can have to one single situation or may be I can have a single reaction to multiple situations. Where from I get this capability of handling all these faces! Sometimes I just feel like I am a mere actor playing her role as directed by the notions of this world. I wonder what would have I been if it had been the other way round only my own OWN ..expressions I had with me (again I m left wondering to think, for that may be I need to be had born in complete isolation from the world). And sometimes it’s a state of dead end as I keep on cogitating over the one thought .
Sometimes it feels like a compromise to live on the conditions of this world, these established norms of society. The world will call you mad if don’t smile when everybody else is…or you don’t have a tear in your eyes when everybody is crying at the top of their voices..you are heartless if you don’t weep over a tragic thing that is making everybody around sad…I feel like so perfectly we have been programmed to give those predefined reactions over everything and it gets worse when we knowingly fake it . Who can be a bigger hypocrite than us? Some suggest that ur answers are inside but as I see it how can the answer lie inside . Inside its just a means of calming down your seething brain which is amazed over the question ’ WHO I AM ? ‘ to attain a state of complacence and merging with eternity but how does complacence provides answers ?