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| Image Source: Loi Pinel |
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| Image Source: Pininterest |
I have a problem of not giving myself credit enough for anything I ever do. To confess the problem is the first step towards fixing it. So yes, I have to agree that I need a little more of self worth and self appreciation. Whatever I do is always lesser for me than what someone else does (even if it's the very same thing or may be even actually lesser). So yes, I've got to change my scales. We all have seen that poster of a cat seeing itself as a lion in the mirror. My reasoning faculties have always contested that what good does it do to lose the sense of realism and seeing yourself as more than you actually are. But this year I make this conscious decision to be that very cat. After all, it is about believing that you are more than you appear to be; it is about believing in yourself. And come on, the world will not fall apart if I give myself a little more credit and a little more appreciation. If not me, who will?
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| Image Source: Mother Nature Network |
I have a problem that I have a lot of aggression in me and I don't even know where it comes from. I have fire inside of me. It’s a tendency I have no control over. I get hysteric sometimes when things do not seem to be working and I lose all the calm and poise. And even when I am not hyper or rude or aggressive, sometimes people mistake me for being so. Sigh! I need some voice modulation! Sometimes, my intentions are like so benign but my tone of voice will not leave its headiness. I feel so envious of people who can make the bitter lashes sound like honey laces. I am just the opposite. I can make the pleasantries sound like harsh and corrosive. So this is what I have to work on. And this is one hell of a job for me to stop blasting and start pouring.
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| Image Source: Huffington Post |
I am blind to fine lines. The fine line of respecting others's opinions and taking them as a sacrosanct gospel, the fine line of readjusting my priorities for someone and toppling the entire list upside down, the fine line of the desire to maintain cordiality in relations and forgetting my own dignity in the desire to do so, the fine line of believing and foolhardy worshiping. I even forget the fine line of me being me and someone else being someone else. I mean I am not a magician who can fix things for people. I can try to help but I cannot heal on someone else's behalf for them. It’s not my job to work on someone else. My job is to work on myself. I have learnt and I am learning and I will keep mastering the lesson of knowing when to stop in the incoming year.
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| Image Source: startupvitamins.com |
I have a hidden flare for making things sound more complicated than they really are. We all have heard of this I guess "log kya sochenge ye bhi tum hi sochoge to log kya sochenge?" And I am so one of those people who thinks on everyone's behalf. Why should I concern myself with all that burden of what he/she/they/you think about me or my life or my choices or my idiocies or my whatever? More than 90% of times we are not even a subject of people's thoughts while we are making ourselves the villains/clowns of their minds. And here people like me ask ourselves a hundred questions even before posting our thoughts online. So, the mantra has to change with the changing year. Keep it simple and do what I like to do.
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| Image Source: Sacompassion.net |
No Judging of my own-self and being kind to
myself:
I cannot say it better than Marianne Williamson has said it already. And here is what she says,
I cannot say it better than Marianne Williamson has said it already. And here is what she says,
"Our deepest fear is not that we are
inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our
light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small
doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as
children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within
us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others."
We should never let our
skewed judgments stop us from doing what we want to do. And this is what I want
to remember in the coming year. The quote by Marianne Williamson that I shared
above was shared by a college senior (whom I never knew personally) on a bulk
mail years back saved long in my inbox and here is the beauty of it all: I
don't know how big or small the impact may be. But the words do make an impact.
I don't know how many of the people in that bulk list read the mail, I don't
know how many thought it through and I don't know how many drew inspiration
from it. But here I am who still remembers this quote and finds it a beautiful
piece of inspiration. So, if I am not getting a lot many likes/comments/reposts
on my written word, it doesn't matter. What matters is may be someone out there
has drawn some inspiration from my words, and even if it is just one, it counts
as the real impact. And this holds true not only for words but for every other
material and immaterial contribution as well.
So, the coming year shall
be about less judgment and more kindness.
