Adios 2017! Welcome 2018!

Image Source: Loi Pinel

Life is a long journey and each year is a milestone. So, we are almost past the milestone of 2017 and just about to hit the milestone of 2018. As we are ready to set foot into 2018, there are things I want to remember in 2018. I really want to mug up the list so I won’t keep forgetting and here goes the list:

Image Source: Pininterest

Give a little more credit to myself:
I have a problem of not giving myself credit enough for anything I ever do. To confess the problem is the first step towards fixing it. So yes, I have to agree that I need a little more of self worth and self appreciation. Whatever I do is always lesser for me than what someone else does (even if it's the very same thing or may be even actually lesser). So yes, I've got to change my scales. We all have seen that poster of a cat seeing itself as a lion in the mirror. My reasoning faculties have always contested that what good does it do to lose the sense of realism and seeing yourself as more than you actually are. But this year I make this conscious decision to be that very cat. After all, it is about believing that you are more than you appear to be; it is about believing in yourself. And come on, the world will not fall apart if I give myself a little more credit and a little more appreciation. If not me, who will?   

Image Source: Mother Nature Network

Stop blasting and start pouring:
I have a problem that I have a lot of aggression in me and I don't even know where it comes from. I have fire inside of me. It’s a tendency I have no control over. I get hysteric sometimes when things do not seem to be working and I lose all the calm and poise. And even when I am not hyper or rude or aggressive, sometimes people mistake me for being so. Sigh! I need some voice modulation! Sometimes, my intentions are like so benign but my tone of voice will not leave its headiness. I feel so envious of people who can make the bitter lashes sound like honey laces. I am just the opposite. I can make the pleasantries sound like harsh and corrosive. So this is what I have to work on. And this is one hell of a job for me to stop blasting and start pouring.

Image Source: Huffington Post

Knowing when to stop:
I am blind to fine lines. The fine line of respecting others's opinions and taking them as a sacrosanct gospel, the fine line of readjusting my priorities for someone and toppling the entire list upside down, the fine line of  the desire to maintain cordiality in relations and forgetting my own dignity in the desire to do so, the fine line of believing and foolhardy worshiping. I even forget the fine line of me being me and someone else being someone else. I mean I am not a magician who can fix things for people. I can try to help but I cannot heal on someone else's behalf for them. It’s not my job to work on someone else. My job is to work on myself. I have learnt and I am learning and I will keep mastering the lesson of knowing when to stop in the incoming year.

Image Source: startupvitamins.com

Doing what I like and keeping it simple:
I have a hidden flare for making things sound more complicated than they really are. We all have heard of this I guess "log kya sochenge ye bhi tum hi sochoge to log kya sochenge?" And I am so one of those people who thinks on everyone's behalf. Why should I concern myself with all that burden of what he/she/they/you think about me or my life or my choices or my idiocies or my whatever? More than 90% of times we are not even a subject of people's thoughts while we are making ourselves the villains/clowns of their minds. And here people like me ask ourselves a hundred questions even before posting our thoughts online. So, the mantra has to change with the changing year. Keep it simple and do what I like to do.

Image Source: Sacompassion.net 

And lastly,

No Judging of my own-self and being kind to myself:
I cannot say it better than Marianne Williamson has said it already. And here is what she says,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. 

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

We should never let our skewed judgments stop us from doing what we want to do. And this is what I want to remember in the coming year. The quote by Marianne Williamson that I shared above was shared by a college senior (whom I never knew personally) on a bulk mail years back saved long in my inbox and here is the beauty of it all: I don't know how big or small the impact may be. But the words do make an impact. I don't know how many of the people in that bulk list read the mail, I don't know how many thought it through and I don't know how many drew inspiration from it. But here I am who still remembers this quote and finds it a beautiful piece of inspiration. So, if I am not getting a lot many likes/comments/reposts on my written word, it doesn't matter. What matters is may be someone out there has drawn some inspiration from my words, and even if it is just one, it counts as the real impact. And this holds true not only for words but for every other material and immaterial contribution as well. 

So, the coming year shall be about less judgment and more kindness.

*Self-Love*

Image Source: Huffington Post

Lately I was watching the movie Diana inspired from the life of Lady Diana. There’s a dialogue in the movie I instantly fell in love with. It was when Diana suffers a break-up with Dr. Hazrat Khan (A Pakistani Heart Surgeon) after trying her all to make it work. She lets herself be wallowed in misery and sorrow until she collects herself back and makes a decision to go on a trip with Dodi. It is at this point her confidant Sonia asks her if she is fine and if she is not making this decision out of her loneliness. The response of Diana is what struck a chord with me instantly. She says, “I don’t feel the need to be caught anymore; because, I am not falling anymore. I am flying..”

It must not be without a reason that love is always fallen into! A free fall with a faith that our beloved will catch us.

And when that beloved fails to catch us? …                                              

Well…It leads to heartache, pain, sorrow and misery…Does it not?

Would it not be amazing if we could love ourselves so much that we would be capable of flying?...So if no one is there to catch us in our fall, we’ll simply fly in the parachute of self-love…

So much we have been programmed to keep searching for love outside, we have actually forgotten to look within and nurture the self love which is the source of any other love.

I loved the way a strong idea is entangled in the subtlety of this simple thought. “I don’t feel the need to be caught anymore; because, I am not falling anymore. I am flying…”

May all of us fly in self-love! <3

*Love and Gratitude*

IMAGE SOURCE: Paperless Post

Lately, i am in the process of developing the habit of saying thank you for all the tiny little joys of life that so often are taken so for granted. The morning sun, the chirping birds, the water to drink, the food to eat, the house to live, the friends to cherish, the family for support, the new hope for new day, the smiles, the laughter and even the tears to make me strong.

Every single thing deserves my gratitude, my love. And this is why i have decided to be say thank you each day to remind myself what a beautiful life i have been blessed with. 

We are always running a race in our heads, never living fully in the moment, rushing back and forth meddling in the thoughts of past or future; and this thoughtless running makes us thankless for the simplest things we are blessed with.

If tomorrow there is an earthquake or a flood or a draught or any kind of natural calamity; and we are stuck in the middle of it with a ruined house, no food to eat, no water to drink and no loved ones left in the world, what shall we do then? Shall we be able to fight the nature to give us our all back? 

Such is the magnitude of our blessings; but we fail to count them since we never got a minute to spare and thank the universe, the nature and the source. We take the little things and tiny joys so for granted like we are entitled to those. I am walking on the road and I see a crippled person walking on the road and a thought crosses my mind that i am thankful for a perfect health and working limbs. But am i entitled?  No, none of us is entitled. We are all blessed.

This is what i want to remember for the rest of my life that i am blessed. Whatever turn my life takes, i have immense number of blessings to count and be thankful for.

And here, i want to take this opportunity to thank my blog and all the people i have come across here. Thanks to everyone who ever landed here, thanks to everyone who shared their valuable comments and encouraging words. Thanks for being a blessing. I love you all.

Why I think I need Meditation lately

Image Source: Theartofunity.com

Shh....... That is what i need at the moment. Silence. Freedom from noise. Freedom not from the external noise, but freedom from the internal noise. Freedom from the perennial noise that exists within me. The noise of ego, expectations, fear and disappointments. The noise which keeps playing and replaying the loud egotistical and fear driven conversations in my head. The noise that skews my sense of self and that of the world around me.

And isn't it paradoxical that whenever we are feeling down, we are told to party, hang-out, go shopping, get a make-over and blah blah blah... Resorting to the external noise to get rid of the internal noise. While these can be the temporary solutions but can't lead to the permanent blissful state of freedom from internal noise.

Distractions come easy. So, everyone buys the distractions of external noise to silence the voice within. Distractions lead us to a state of limbo. But Meditation will bring the answers.

In a sunkissed world, I live

Image Source: Clutterbusting.com

In a sunkissed world, I live;

In nature is abundant joy,

Then why I am in misery,

Mired in what earthly ploy;

In a sunkissed world, I live;

The sky is ever so blue,

The Sun shines light years away,

Still, its warmth never fails you;

A bird revels in its flight,

It circles around,

Swings in the air,

As if in a merry-go-round;

The trees are so green,

Budding flowers shower love,

On butterflies which teem;

The song of a bird,

The dance of a humming bee,

It’s all too priceless,

And yet comes for free;

In a sunkissed world, I live;

In nature is abundant joy,

Then why I am in misery,

Mired in what earthly ploy;

I wonder if I lived in a world;

Where I paid

for the air I breathed,

And competed

for the sunlight I bequeathed;

Where the nature’s silence

Was replaced by a cacophony,

And for few moments of quiet,

I needed fortunes of money;

where the air was always still,

And for a few drops of rain,

I had to pay huge bill;

I wonder if I lived in such world;

But Thanks to the heavens,

In a sunkissed world, I live;

In nature is abundant joy,

Then why I am in misery,

Mired in what earthly ploy;

In a sunkissed world, I live;

The sky is ever so blue,

There is romance,

In colorful petals and their hues;

It’s all too priceless,

And yet comes for free.

In a sunkissed world, I live.

*......*

Image Source: Youtube.com

Sometimes the only way out of pain is through the pain.

Sometimes the only way to let go is to embrace the pain and immerse in it before you are set free. 

A word with myself!

Image Source: Conde Last Traveller

Yesterday I just happened to observe a couple waiting in the queue right in front of me to buy the tickets. And all of a sudden, for no particular reason, I just got this thought.

“What exactly is marriage? To be with someone who wakes up by your side every day, who thinks he (or for that matter she too.. ) owns you to be able to enter you, but the moment that pact of right to each other’s body is violated,  will that relationship still survive and thrive?”

“Is not marriage just like one of the over-rated rituals?  Isn’t the need of marriage over hyped?”

That is to say,

I wonder if it is the marriage that is my need; or is it the confirmation and belonging to the widely accepted norms that is my need?

Is it the fear to stand out in the crowd for being different, fear of being looked down upon as some sort of pitiable object, and most of all fear of a life not validated by society at large?

Ofcourse, it is human nature to seek validation. The increasing no. of facebook posts, the plethora of tweets, the opinionated blogs; what is that one common thing that is at the bottom of it all? Isn’t it validation? There is hunger for validation. So, may be, one of us out here, doesn’t really has the need of a better-half to feel whole; maybe, one of us out here, does feel content and at peace just by being with ourselves; maybe, one of us out here, does not want to take up the responsibility of another life; maybe, one of us out here is capable of taking good care of one self; maybe, for one of us out here, the universal need of marriage is not universal afterall. But maybe, it’s just the fear of not getting validation that is holding that one of us person back, from sticking to his/her calling of life.

The only answer is perhaps that to live a life on one’s own terms and conditions, it requires a little more than courage. It requires fortitude, perseverance, and confidence on one’s own judgment. It requires the attitude of respecting others’ opinion and at the same time not getting affected too deeply by it.   

Of this and that..

IMAGE SOURCE: cauldronsandcupcakes.com

##  When you get tired to the point of exhaustion trying to get the answers; take a deep breath, meditate, release the toxins; the panic, the fear, the urgency of getting answers; get hold of yourself, your inner strength. And then after some good amount of time, Rethink. Hopefully you'll arrive at the answers.

##  Its better to live your own choices and handle their consequences; Rather than living the choices of others and to keep blaming the entire world for the fate that turns out to be. Its better to be the driver of your life than to be a mere befuddled passenger.

## Sometimes, we cannot give expression to what feelings and emotions are evoked in us, on an encounter which may last for a minute or an hour or a day or longer. But, our aura has understood. So, trust your intuition, your instinct.

##  Everything is now. We are mere actors in the cosmic drama of life. Past is like a movie whose climax is over and done with. We have played our role and we are now in the present playing a new role. Its time to forget that character of past and assume the new character of present. Its about evolving. Future is yet another movie whose script will be revealed in time. The present is everything.

  

Ramblings of a Passing Phase

Image source: http://communio.stblogs.org

These days I find myself constantly thinking about where life is heading. I find myself thinking about all the small and big choices I have made in life. And while doing that I sometimes find myself fussing over compartmentalizing my choices into the two square boxes of right and wrong. Some other times I find myself fussing over the choices yet to be made. It’s like getting lost in a world of blues, stumbling at every step while trying to figure out the right way; when in reality there actually is no right and wrong way. There are just different ways, each with its own set of perks and setbacks.  

I don’t see life as black and white; I rather understand it to be just about all shades of grey. Then, why should I be worried about making the right choices all the time? I guess it’s just a phase. A phase where I am so occupied dwelling in all the possibilities of future that I find the present getting blurred in the background. Despite all the contemplation, the upcoming life just seems illusive. Each day ahead is one step closer to being thirty. And it’s freaking me out these days.   

My motivation level sky-rockets one moment and hits rock-bottom the next. Sometimes, I feel I can deal with being 30 and single; Other times I feel afraid of being left alone. Sometimes, I feel I have a decent life and crave for no more; Other times I feel I haven’t done anything substantial in life and I am just nowhere. Sometimes, I just want a peaceful life; Other times I find myself delving into some far-fetched dreams. Sometimes, I make a decision to not settle when it comes to finding a partner; Other times I feel like making it work with any man who so ever comes my way, even if halfheartedly.  Sometimes, I find myself lingering on to the slightest hope of finding love; Other times I find myself thrashing all my vain hopes and dictating myself to get on with reality. Sometimes, I find myself filled with a desire to travel and explore; Other times I feel like being grounded in my tiny little room for days together. Sometimes, I want my thoughts to be of a conformist’s; Other times I want to let them fly into rebellion. Sometimes, I feel I can handle anything and everything; Other times I lack the confidence to even stand up and face the mundane. Sometimes, I want to do something, anything, so vehemently; Other times I just care about having a good night’s sleep. Sometimes, I want to be the person I am not; Other times I want the other people to be the persons they are not.

But then, it’s just a phase. A phase where I am trying to deal with approaching thirty in a matter of two years. When I think about the past five or six years, time seems so fleeting. I was allowed to be naïve back then, but somehow time just slipped past and I am still naïve. Still clueless, trying to solve the jigsaw puzzle of my expectations from life.

Anyhow, It’s just a phase and like any other, it too shall pass!  

Open Eyed Meditations- Book Review

About the Book:

Title: Open Eyed Meditations

·         Paperback: 280 pages

·         Publisher: Fingerprint! Publishing; First edition (1 July 2016)

·         Language: English

·         ISBN-10: 8175993901

·         ISBN-13: 978-8175993907

About the Author:

Shubha Vilas holds a degree in engineering and law with a specialization in patent law. But in essence, he is an author, a motivational speaker, lifestyle coach, and a storyteller par excellence.  His leadership seminars, wherein he addresses the crucial needs of top-level management through inspiring seminars, are popular in corporate houses. Shubha Vilas periodically interacts with the youth in premier institutes across the world, inspiring them to live a life based on deeper human values. Traveling across the globe and meeting people from all walks of life, he teaches the importance of being governed by dharmic principles, meting out spiritual lifestyle tips and contemporary wisdom to deal with modern-day life situations.

Other books by the Author: Ramayana-The Game of Life Series, The Chronicles of Hanuman

My Review:

When we think meditation, we think of an abstruse skill of a deep interiorized focused state achieved with closed eyes. But this book introduces us to a whole new concept of meditation with open eyes. Each thought, which has been presented in the book relating it to a story from the epics of Ramayana and Mahabharata, opens the window to meditation with open eyes while participating in the battlefield of life.

The book is a compilation of beautiful thoughts or rather Sutras of life. The best part of this compilation for me is that it brings out the balance between practical and spiritual. Each life lesson is carved out into words that fall perfectly into place. There are no embellishments and no going off the track. Each life lesson is stated in way that it just hits the bull’s eye.

If one can interiorize the sixty four meditations that the author has presented in the book, and make them a part of his/her everyday behavior, he is sure to rise in life, spiritually, personally and professionally.     

There are lessons for every wake of life from love to happiness to acceptance, from managing anger to handling embarrassments, the qualities of a successful leader told by giving the example of Lord Krishna.

I’ll quote a few of my favorite sentences from the book: -

“Just like harmony between a lion and human is unlikely, harmony between unlike minds is unlikely. For stable relationships, we need to embrace like minded people, rather than forcing the unlike-minded people to embrace change.”

“Love in any relationship is about action and not just a feeling. Active love is about prioritizing others’ needs, not just in words but also in actions.”

“When you hate someone, you actually hate something in him that is a part of yourself.”

The real essence of the book, however, lies in being able to follow the wise words written in there and not just reading it. This book is a guide to every human being. Written in simple words which have rather a deep impact, this book is a beautiful read.

This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!

Life Lessons :)

IMAGE SOURCE: hdwallpapersrock.com

Life teaches something every other day. Learning never stops. Life is a school we never stop attending to. We fall and then we rise. We fall again and then we rise again. It goes on and on. It’s not like the regular school we attend in our childhood, where there is a set curriculum, a set list of lessons, and where we have the choice of leaving out a few lessons if they are too much for our understanding. The school of life comes with an element of surprise; we never know what is the next lesson we may have to learn. We never know what and how life will challenge us. We never have a clue what test we may have to appear in. We may have to go through the same test again and again, until we choose to learn finally.

There is so much that we learn every day, actively or passively. But if I have to share the greatest lesson of life that I have learnt so far goes something like below:

No matter what, don’t carry emotional baggage. Believe in forgiveness and move on. If we give a lot of importance to whatever wrongs were committed against us, we poison our ownselves. And we sure don’t want to do that. Life is too short to harbor bitterness and host long self pity parties. Sometimes, we do that in the name of ego/ self-respect, but while attempting to protect our self respect, we fail to cleanse our emotional system. When I talk about wrongs, I don’t essentially mean some major betrayals/ selfish deeds/ drastic harms which we had to go through; I also mean small and little everyday things, which get escalated in our tiny emotional system; including arguments, misunderstandings, heartbreaks, unattended needs; basically everything from tiniest emotion left unhealed to the biggest and most drastic life experiences.   

There is no use playing the blame game, pinpointing people, holding resentments, criticizing people, criticizing circumstances. The real freedom, the real liberation and the real bliss comes with forgiveness. Forgiveness for people and forgiveness for circumstances. No one does the kind of things they do knowing that they are doing wrong. They do the kind of things they do because they believe they are doing right. It’s difficult to understand but it kind of works this way mostly. Everyone is dealing with their own limitations, learning their own lessons, just like we are. We all seem to be so different yet our roots are same. We are all attending the same school of life, just that we are learning the personalized lessons designed exclusively for us, at our own pace, in our own ways. When we attend school, we are told by peers and parents to not judge weak students, help everyone and be good to everyone. Same holds true in the school of life as well. Why judge people? Why not just be good to everyone. May be they are yet to learn their lessons. Why not just keep your emotional system clean and pure by learning forgiveness. Rather than dealing with the emotional baggage, we can deal with better lessons of life. After all, life is short.

And this principle of forgiveness does not apply to other people only; it applies to self as well. Infact, it’s much more important when it comes to self. It’s only human to make mistakes and get messed up once in a while. It never helps to sit on our own mistakes and ridicule ourselves. Self-loathing is much more harmful than the emotional baggage. It’s perfectly alright if we make mistakes. We learn even from our mistakes. So we should forgive ourselves for all the meddling up we do and love ourselves all the same.

In the end nothing matters, only love does. Love is the true nature of all of us humans.

So, that’s the biggest lesson of life I have learnt till date. I have yet not perfected it and I am constantly trying. It may take a pretty long time still and that’s another reason it’s the biggest of all lessons for me.

“SAY NO TO EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE. SAY YES TO FORGIVENESS. SAY NO TO TRASH EMOTIONS. SAY YES TO LOVE.”

This post is written for the INDISPIRE Edition154 What is the best lesson that life has taught you so far? #LessonOfLife

*Don't settle for fear*

IMAGE SOURCE: pininterest.com

Let fear never drive you. It happens many a times that we are so used to being afraid and our sub-conscious without letting our conscious mind know starts affecting our choices. Fear is the greatest enemy one can have. It makes us believe we are not enough; we do not deserve any better. It’s the root of all negativity in our minds, all the toxins in our psyche. When it starts overpowering you, you’ll feel like settling, settling for the lesser, settling for the fear of not being able to fit in if you don’t.

“All my friends are getting married. What if I don’t? What if my age passes and I am left all alone in this world?”

“Oh! But I love this guy! But is he treating you right? Chances are that he may not be. But what if I don’t find any better?”

There is an age when everybody around you is either getting married, getting engaged, going on a honeymoon, having a family and there are talks of marriage all around you. The panic streak in you gets propelled by an underlying fear at some or the other point of time; and then, this underlying fear will give you many expedient and practical terms to justify this deep seated unrecognized fear. You may call it adjustment, being practical, sometimes you may even term it as love. It would throw several logics in front of you-“But! You can’t get everything!”, “It’s about making the best out of what is available.” “Compromises are a must in life.” “So what if he has limitations? I love him.” “He is well settled, what if he lacks some basic sense.” “He is not doing it intentionally. He is just a little messed up.” “It will get better with time, I can make it work.” And there will be umpteen no. of reasons that your fear will give you to just settle.

Not that I say believe in some surreal, far-fetched fairy tale prince coming your way. But, you better know when you just start crossing that fine line of being propelled by your fears and fears alone. You’re throwing away your confidence, your self esteem, your individuality and most of all, your life, your very own life, and all that for some petty thing as settling.

Making yourself smaller to get that approval of “Happily Settled” and from whom? The society who least cares? To appear taller in front of the society, if you give up the height of your self esteem, you do nothing but betray yourself.

There is not more than a handful of people in our lives who really care with what we do with our lives. Rest all just need some masala gossip for sipping their evening masala tea. And the people who care will always stand by you in all phases of your life, no matter what. So care about the few who matter.

A little bit of adjustment will always be required and we do that with our families, with our friends almost all the time. But don’t let your fear make you adjust more than what is necessary. Don’t give in if you fear losing yourself. You are the most important being you have got. Don’t let the fear play you and take you away from your very ownself. Don’t let the fear be the driver. Don’t let it pull the reins for you.

As it is rightly said, “Fear is death, fear is sin, fear is hell, fear is unrighteousness, fear is wrong life. All the negative thoughts and ideas that are in this world have proceeded from this evil spirit of fear.”